Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) is an egocentric god. He wants his children’s undivided attention. He is willing to go to the extreme of killing them or at least selling them as slaves to punish them for being disloyal, and for worshiping other gods.


       But he is not only jealous of the gods co-inhabiting with him; he is also jealous of kings. Some kings, in ancient times, were looked upon as gods. Some Pharaohs in Egypt, for instance, were regarded as god incarnated. So he did not want his children to appoint anybody as their king. He wanted to be god and king for them. That was why, at the beginning, he just delivered judges to them. Then, for the gazillion time, the children of Israel went against their lord’s orders and they asked for a king.


       Needless to say Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) went berserk. Let us read what he had to say:


1 Samuel 


8:4 Then all the elders of Israel gathered themselves together, and came to Samuel unto Ramah,


8:5 And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.


8:6 But the thing displeased Samuel, when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto the LORD.


8:7 And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.


8:8 According to all the works which they have done since the day that I brought them up out of Egypt even unto this day, wherewith they have forsaken me, and served other gods, so do they also unto thee.


8:9 Now therefore hearken unto their voice: howbeit yet protest solemnly unto them, and shew them the manner of the king that shall reign over them.


8:10 And Samuel told all the words of the LORD unto the people that asked of him a king.


8:11 And he said, This will be the manner of the king that shall reign over you: He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen; and some shall run before his chariots.


8:12 And he will appoint him captains over thousands, and captains over fifties; and will set them to ear his ground, and to reap his harvest, and to make his instruments of war, and instruments of his chariots.


8:13 And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers.


8:14 And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants.


8:15 And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give to his officers, and to his servants.


8:16 And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work.


8:17 He will take the tenth of your sheep: and ye shall be his servants.


8:18 And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you; and the LORD will not hear you in that day.


8:19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us;


8:20 That we also may be like all the nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles.


8:21 And Samuel heard all the words of the people, and he rehearsed them in the ears of the LORD.


8:22 And the LORD said to Samuel, Hearken unto their voice, and make them a king. And Samuel said unto the men of Israel, Go ye every man unto his city.


       The tone and the mood of this conversation between Samuel and Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh) are very eloquent. God feels he is being replaced as the sole guide of the children of Israel. He tells Samuel to remind them what kings do to their subjects, hoping to discourage them. But the elders of Israel did not care. They wanted a king because they needed someone to, not only judge them, but also:


1 Samuel


8:20 go out before us, and fight our battles.


       Is that not surprising? The elders, not the young ones, those who had been serving foreign kings not long ago; those who had witnessed the raising of the deliverers sent by Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) were asking for a true leader to fight their battles. Was Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) not fighting on their side since they left Egypt? Was he not performing great feats to help them win battle after battle? Had he not punished them for worshiping other gods? And as incredible as it may sound, here they are, once again, disobeying the orders of the most powerful god ever, asking for a king who fights their battles. Why?


       They were asking for a king, because there was no god doing anything special to help them. They were going to battle, as any other nation in that region, and sometimes they killed and others they were killed. They noticed that the nations that had kings were stronger because they were better organized. All the subjects gathered around their monarch, and went to battle as one.


       On the other hand, the judges they had had thus far were just chieftains, lesser leaders whose power of convocation was limited. When one of the Hebrew tribes was attacked, not all of the 12 tribes responded to the calling of the judge. In other words, they were divided, rather than united. They still recalled Joshua. The closer figure to a king they had had. They always fought as one. That was why they had won so many battles. They longed for those times. If Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) had been doing the extraordinary things the seers say he was doing for them, would they have been asking for a king, a simple mortal, with no powers? No. they would not have. Then, and only then, we could say that they were obstinate, stubborn and stupid.


Even after hearing about all the “bad things” a king would bring upon them, they wanted one, so Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) had no choice but asking Samuel, the current seer, to appoint one for them, Saul:


1 Samuel


9:2 And he had a son, whose name was Saul, a choice young man, and a goodly: and there was not among the children of Israel a goodlier person than he: from his shoulders and upward he was higher than any of the people.


       Were they choosing a king for a nation or a king for a high school prom? Why did he have to be goodly, meaning beautiful? Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) should have chosen somebody strong, smart, and loyal to him, not a “goodly” man. But he chose Saul for his beauty and his height:


1 Samuel


10:23 And they ran and fetched him thence: and when he stood among the people, he was higher than any of the people from his shoulders and upward.


10:24 And Samuel said to all the people, See ye him whom the LORD hath chosen, that there is none like him among all the people? And all the people shouted, and said, God save the king.


       As soon as the Hebrew people had their king, they went to war. Saul was able to gather a huge amount of soldiers, 330, 000. (Is it not strange that even Saul had fewer men at his disposal than Moses?)


       Anyway, let us keep reading:


1 Samuel


11:8 And when he numbered them in Bezek, the children of Israel were three hundred thousand, and the men of Judah thirty thousand.


       Two years later, Saul was ready to go to war, but Samuel, the seer, did not get there when he was supposed to, so Saul had to do what was reserved for the Levites:


1 Samuel 


13:8 And he tarried seven days, according to the set time that Samuel had appointed: but Samuel came not to Gilgal; and the people were scattered from him.


13:9 And Saul said, Bring hither a burnt offering to me, and peace offerings. And he offered the burnt offering.


13:10 And it came to pass, that as soon as he had made an end of offering the burnt offering, behold, Samuel came; and Saul went out to meet him, that he might salute him.


13:11 And Samuel said, What hast thou done? And Saul said, Because I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that thou camest not within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered themselves together at Michmash;


13:12 Therefore said I, The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not made supplication unto the LORD: I forced myself therefore, and offered a burnt offering.


13:13 And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever.


13:14 But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.


13:15 And Samuel arose, and gat him up from Gilgal unto Gibeah of Benjamin. And Saul numbered the people that were present with him, about six hundred men.


       Saul was punished for making an offering to Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah). What was wrong with that? He was offering a holocaust to the Hebrew god, not to Baal or Ashtoreth. I will tell you what he did wrong. He was chosen to perform acts of war no religious ones. Those ones were reserved to the high priests, so Samuel felt threatened, because the people would think that Saul could also talk to the lord. If that happened, not only Samuel but all the future generations of the Levites would no longer be of service, and they would lose their position as counselors to the kings to come. 


       Let us continue reading:


1 Samuel


14:47 So Saul took the kingdom over Israel, and fought against all his enemies on every side, against Moab, and against the children of Ammon, and against Edom, and against the kings of Zobah, and against the Philistines: and whithersoever he turned himself, he vexed them.


14:48 And he gathered an host, and smote the Amalekites, and delivered Israel out of the hands of them that spoiled them.

Saul succeeded in defeating his enemies. He had united the tribes of Israel and had control over the land. But he sinned against the Lord:


1 Samuel 


15:1 Samuel also said unto Saul, The LORD sent me to anoint thee to be king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the LORD.


15:2 Thus saith the LORD of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt.


15:3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.


15:4 And Saul gathered the people together, and numbered them in Telaim, two hundred thousand footmen, and ten thousand men of Judah.


15:5 And Saul came to a city of Amalek, and laid wait in the valley.

Here is the bloodthirsty Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah), sending the king of Israel to annihilate Amalek and all his subjects. Why? For not letting them pass through his land when they escaped from Egypt. Thou shall not kill?


1 Samuel


15:6 And Saul said unto the Kenites, Go, depart, get you down from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them: for ye shewed kindness to all the children of Israel, when they came up out of Egypt. So the Kenites departed from among the Amalekites.


15:7 And Saul smote the Amalekites from Havilah until thou comest to Shur, that is over against Egypt.


15:8 And he took Agag the king of the Amalekites alive, and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword.


       Do you see what Saul’s sin was? He let the Kenites and Agag, king of the Amalekites live! The bible says that Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) got mad because Saul and his army saved some animals for the holocausts, when he had commanded to destroy all living things. But that is not the real cause of his anger.

Read the following passages:


1 Samuel


15:32 Then said Samuel, Bring ye hither to me Agag the king of the Amalekites. And Agag came unto him delicately. And Agag said, Surely the bitterness of death is past.


15:33 And Samuel said, As the sword hath made women childless, so shall thy mother be childless among women. And Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the LORD in Gilgal.


       Samuel chopped Agag up! He finished the job Saul could not. Do you see now how sanguinary and vengeful your god is? 33 After these events, Samuel and Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) turned their backs on Saul. They could not trust him anymore. He was cute and tall but he was not bloodthirsty enough to be the anointed one. So they chose one man more apt for the job.


1 Samuel


17:48 And it came to pass, when the Philistine arose, and came, and drew nigh to meet David, that David hastened, and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine.

17:49 And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his fore head, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth.


17:50 So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David.


17:51 Therefore David ran, and stood upon the Philistine, and took his sword, and drew it out of the sheath thereof, and slew him, and cut off his head therewith. And when the Philistines saw their champion was dead, they fled.


       The beheading of Goliath proved that David, besides beautiful, was sanguinary enough in the sight of the lord, so he was chosen to be the next king. But his ascending was not easy. He had to fight for his life and for his throne.


       I do not understand this. Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) promised to give the children of Israel a piece of land to live in, but they had to fight to the death to get it. Then he chose David to be the next king, but he had to fight against Saul, and was not anointed king until the Philistines killed him.


       If Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) really despised Saul for being “soft”, why did he not kill him himself and crowned David any sooner? By then, he had killed thousands of people; one more would have not made any difference. Maybe you are thinking, “He did not kill him because Saul was one of his own.” He did not care about that before. Do you remember him burning Aaron’s sons, and stoning Achan to death and then burning him? He did not mind then, why would he mind now?


       I will tell you why he did not kill him. Saul emerged as king on his own. Neither Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) nor Samuel chose him. He was charismatic enough to gain his people’s trust, and they gathered around him because they remembered their victories when Joshua was leading them, and they fought as one man. If they wanted to prevail, they had to stop fighting the small battles. They had to raise a huge army and smash their enemies. Saul was the man to do it. Under his reign, the country prospered.


       Then David appeared on the scene. After killing Goliath, he became very popular. And Saul, a man after all, was jealous about him. He knew that he could dethrone him if he let him become even more popular. So he decided to kill him. But David had some followers who helped him escape. Saul became obsessed about David. He devoted too much time and too many men to the task that his flanks were weakened. His adversaries took advantage of this and they finally defeated him. When Saul saw that he could not escape, he preferred committing suicide than dying to the hands of his enemies. Then, because David was the bravest and most popular soldier, no body objected to his ascending to the throne.


       Let us not forget that the old testament was written long after all this events happened. Up to then, this and all the other stories were passed down generation to generation as oral traditions. So when it was time to write them, the Levites, Moses heirs and writers of the bible, decided to spice them up a bit.  They could not make it appear as though the people were making all these decisions. They needed their god to have the main role in them. So they made up the story of how Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) chose

Saul.


       And I say it is a made-up story because Saul was from the tribe of Benjamin, the lost tribe; the tribe that sodomized the Levite and raped his concubine; the tribe that caused the first Hebrew civil war; the tribe that did not answer the call to Mizpeh. The tribe the Israelites swore not to give daughters in marriage.


       I will cite the passages in case you have not read them:


Judges


19:22 Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.


19:23 And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.


19:24 Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.


19:25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.


19:26 Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man's house where her lord was, till it was light.


19:27 And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.


19:28 And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none answered.

Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat him unto his place.


19:29 And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.


20:1 Then all the children of Israel went out, and the congregation was gathered together as one man, from Dan even to Beersheba, with the land of Gilead, unto the LORD in Mizpeh.


20:2 And the chief of all the people, even of all the tribes of Israel, presented themselves in the assembly of the people of God, four hundred thousand footmen that drew sword.


20:18 And the children of Israel arose, and went up to the house of God, and asked counsel of God, and said, Which of us shall go up first to the battle against the children of Benjamin? And the LORD said, Judah shall go up first.


20:19 And the children of Israel rose up in the morning, and encamped against Gibeah.


20:20 And the men of Israel went out to battle against Benjamin; and the men of Israel put themselves in array to fight against them at Gibeah.


20:21 And the children of Benjamin came forth out of Gibeah, and destroyed down to the ground of the Israelites that day twenty and two thousand men.


21:1 Now the men of Israel had sworn in Mizpeh, saying, There shall not any of us give his daughter unto Benjamin to wife.


21:2 And the people came to the house of God, and abode there till even before God, and lifted up their voices, and wept sore;


21:3 And said, O LORD God of Israel, why is this come to pass in Israel, that there should be to day one tribe lacking in Israel?


21:4 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the people rose early, and built there an altar, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings.


21:5 And the children of Israel said, Who is there among all the tribes of Israel that came not up with the congregation unto the LORD? For they had made a great oath concerning him that came not up to the LORD to Mizpeh, saying, He shall surely be put to death.


21:6 And the children of Israel repented them for Benjamin their brother, and said, There is one tribe cut off from Israel this day.


       Why would Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) choose a king from the very tribe that despised him and his teachings? A Benjamite was the best man for the job?


       As I said before, neither god nor Samuel chose Saul to be king. Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) with all his power could have easily foreseen that Saul was going to betray him. Is he not infallible? Why did he fail to see the sin in Saul?


       The first two kings emerged with no divine help. It was the Levites who added the passages where their god decided who the king had to be.


       The Levites made up the passages where Saul allegedly sinned against Jealous (A.K.A Yahweh or Jehovah) because that was the only way they could justify Saul’s loss in battle and his death. Having been anointed by the most powerful god on earth, Saul would have been invincible, but since he was killed, the Levites had no choice but to put the blame on Saul and make up the offense and use their favorite excuse: saying that he lost because he had sinned before the eyes of the lord. Once again, the Levites exonerated their god and blamed a fellow Hebrew.


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